小轩窗

I love Henry James and the more you read the more I love.  It is not easy to follow James almost in his every masterpiece and very often you would feel yourself lost in a complicated labyrinth.  I love James because he was always describing some "extraordianry" things that took place in our ordinary life, which makes you started how actually our daily life is so "dramatic".  I am so impressed by those plots and intrigues which were constructed so carefully by our author and they both appear to be surreal and too real.  People, which are the most important thing in James' novel, are always burdened by their conscience, which is most touching when they are doing something "nasty".  I still remember how I am moved by what happens in "What Maisy Knew" when the brutal parents worked so scrutfully to avoid the more straight but almost more unbearable action of deserting their child, although what they did in fact amounts to nothing more than that.  I am always wondering at this.  And later I found that it is because both of the adults, even when they were so brutal to their kids, since they were civilized persons, would never do something apparently equivalent to abandoning their child, which is unbearable to their moral conscience.  This is some kind of Jamesian theme that occurs and occurs, repetantly, fascinatingly, in his major novels.
I found the same theme when I am reading the magnificent piece of "wings of the dove".  the novel is not easy, at least for me,who constantly stumbles at those familiar but "awkward" expressions.   But I do feel very curious about the question, which appears intermittantly during the reading, what is the restraining force on us that prevents us from doing something "cruel" and bad.  Obviously, James is not like some didactic novlist in every respect because he never lays down very clear moral teachings anywhere and moreover he is always sympathizing even with those "cruel" persons.  But neither is he a relativist which is demonstrated by the fact that the readers would never feel empty at the end of the story.  Something unexpressible but positive does stay with us after reading his stories and you may feel at a loss what is right, but you do know however intuitively and vaguely what is wrong.  the people in his novel too have this "moral" sense, though sometimes only in hindsight, that makes the action very stressful and difficult.  It is not exaggerating to say that the characters in James' novels are struggling all the time, with their own conscience as well as with others'.  therefore, plotting and planning are indispensible which are consciously brought in by persons who want to hold  "fortitude" when doing something malicious.  why they have to?  This is what I love James most because he is not telling the story about the bullies and beasts who could eat others without shedding a tear, but about the "civilized" persons in modern society who might be as cruel as or even more disgusting than the bullies and beasts, but who are nonetheless checked and restrained by their moral conscience too.

已经差不多有一年没玩这个BLOG了，也不知道平时在忙啥，感觉是结婚以后的生活越来越懒了。不过现在放假了，我得利用这段时间写点啥。

今天和一个很久以前的老朋友聊天。 我和这个朋友已经有好几年没有联系了，以前是中学同学。一下子觉得今天自己才那么清楚地知道自己在哪里。 我想有地时候你真地需要跟一个好多年前的朋友说话。 因为有的时候人的记忆都是靠自己来维持的，靠自己来填补那些断裂了空白的地方，而当你突然和一个多年前的认识的人说话的时候，你才会觉得原来自己多么错误而模糊啊。 这时候才发现原来对方并不是记忆里面的对方，记忆这个东西究竟还是自己的，而记忆里面的某个人，某一件事情，你确乎自己觉得是恒定的，原来终究是不确切的。 因为记忆里面的东西都在成长啊，跟你自己一样。 很奇怪，我到今天才明白这个道理。 当看到记忆里面故人故事突然跟自己一样在成长的时候，才有种莫名的怅然，因为自己用来框定好多事情的那个框架被胀破了。 不过谁知道这是不是好事呢？ 低头看看脚下，至少更有了一些脚踏实地的感觉。会不会有一些人和一些事是永远的呢？ 我相信会有的。记忆终究是自己的一座宝藏，但是我想它真的需要我们小心地去维护。这里面需要很多啊。 你地那些耐心和勇气，当然还有始终很乐观地心态和对往事的笃实的信心。 这些都好难啊。 真的。